DOL #25 Original 1: the titanic carried more then 1,500 people to there graves it was believed to by unsinkable
Revised 1: The Titanic, believed to be unsinkable, carried more than 1,500 people to their graves. Original 2: the student teacher arrives next week it is necessary that we finishes reading eliots long poem the waste land
Revised 2: Because the student teacher arrives next week, it is necessary that we finish reading Eliot's long poem The Waste Land.
DOL #26 Original 1: a renowned magazine many well known writers submit articles and stories to the atlantic monthly
Revised 1:Many well known writers submit articles and stories to the Atlantic Monthly, a renowned magazine. Original 2: i am very eager to read the french novel the plague carmen said but its not in our library
Revised 2: "I am very eager to read the French novel The Plague," Carmen said, "But it's not in our library."
DOL #27 Original 1: everyone in this grade are responsible for this years dance therefore we all must raise funds for the decorations
Revised 1: Everyone in this grade is responsible for this year's dance; therefore, we all must raise funds for the decorations. Original 2: having worked for 8 hours i need to set down listen to music and the enjoyment of a good dinner
Revised 2: Having worked for eight hours, I need to sit down, listen to music, and enjoy a good dinner.
DOL #28 Original 1: i remember when my neighbor he set up a huge telescope the larger i had ever seen to observe halleys comet
Revised 1: I remember when my neighbor set up a huge telescope - the largest I have ever seen - to observe Halley's Comet. Original 2: ms masayo asked do you feel alright now walter or dont you want to go skiing
Revised 2: Ms. Masayo asked, "Do you feel all right now Walter? Can you go skiing?"
DOL #29 N/A
DOL #30 N/A
DOL #31 N/A
DOL #32 N/A
DOL #33 Original 1: when are these books due hans should i bringn them to the library
Revised 1: When are these books due, Hans? Should I bring them to the library? Original 2: after the constitutional convention of 1787 drafted the constitution of the united states almost 3 years passed before it was ratified
Revised 2: After the Constitutional Convention of 1787 drafted the Constituion of the United States, almost three years passed before it was ratified.
DOL #34 Original 1: much depends on weather your effected by the high altitude when you climbed the mountain
Revised 1: Much depends on whether you are affected by the high altitude when you climb the mountain. Original 2: while half the class uses the Internet the rest will study the smithsonian magazines that re different than the ones we used earlier
Revised 2: While half the class uses the Internet, the test will study the Smithsonian Magazines that are different from the ones we used earlier.
DOL #35 Original 1: oh we havent got finished with our group book report the reason is because everyone dont have a copy of marie's draft
Revised 1: Oh, we haven't finished our group book report because no one had a copy of Marie's draft. Original 2: since my Mom likes canoeing on the yellowstone river hikes in montana and camps in wyoming
Revised 2: My Mom likes canoeing on the Yellowstone River, hiking in Montana, and camping in Wyoming.
DOL #36 Original 1: there are some athletes who rarely play but continue to practice mrs ahmed the new principal stated
Revised 1: "There are some athletes who rarely play but continue to practice, "Mrs. Ahmed, the new principal, stated. Original 2: the world series although often exciting sometimes is to slow paced for me and my mom we think
Revised 2: The World Series, although often exciting, sometimes is too slow paced for me and my mom.
DOL #37 Original: ms paula jeffers
campton paper company
18376 river drive
minneaplois mn
dear ms jeffers Revised:
Ms. Paula Jeffers
Campton Paper Company
18376 River Drive
Minneaplois, MN
Dear Ms. Jeffers,
DOL #38 Original 1: because the united states constitution sits out certain individual writes that we is all privileged to enjoy
Revised 1: The United States Constitution sets out certain individual rights that we are all privileged to enjoy. Original 2: we havent neither the time or the ability to practice the play the reason being we lost so many actors to the flew
Revised 2: We have neither the time nor the ability to practice the play because so many actors caught the flu.
DOL #39 Original 1: to be allowed to to to the party i had to finish my science project cleaning my room and helping my Mom fix dinner
Revised 1: To be allowed to go to the party, I had to finish my science project, clean my room, and help mom fix dinner. Original 2: mr corazzini who cant never start his car was taken by bus too dulles airport on tuesday october 29
Revised 2: Mr. Corazzini, who can never start his car, took the bus to Dulles Airport on Tuesday, October 29.
DOL #40 Original 1: luisa bought a antique pitcher for her cousin who is in atlanta which had came from mexico
Revised 1: Luisa brought an antique pitcher in Mexico for her cousin from Atlanta. Original 2: oscar please sit these books on the library table if you dont have alot of things to carry
Revised 2: Oscar, please set these books on the library table if you don't have a lot of things to carry.
DOL #41 Original 1: park rangers who works in large forests periodically set fire to marked lands to encourage new growth
Revised 1: Park rangers, who work in large forests, periodically set fire to marked lands to encourage new growth. Original 2: after the discovery of penicillin very many miracle drugs appeared ironically though 40 years bacteria are becoming very much more resistant to drugs
Revised 2: After the discovery of penicillin, many miracle drugs appeared; ironically, forty years have passed, and bacteria are becoming more resistant to drugs.
DOL #42 Original 1: because of differences between the 8 camp counselors causing a change in the field trips destination
Revised 1: Differences between the eight camp counselors caused a change in the field trip's destination. Original 2: first felicia planned the party secondly deciding on decorations theird she invited special guests
Revised 2: First, Felicia planned the party; second, decided on decorations; third, she invited special guests.
DOL #43 Original 1: do juan and davids ownership of this Sailboat entitle them two to membership in the winthrop beach yacht club
Revised 1: Do Juan and David's ownership of this sailboat entitle them to membership in the Winthrop beach Yacht Club? Original 2: the article in search of spanish galleons in the book shipwrecks was writed by kiber and rotondi who believes it will be found
Revised 2: The article "In search of Spanish Galleons" in the book Shipwrecks was written by Kiber and Rotondi who believed it will be found.
DOL #44 Original 1: neither rasheed or larry dont want their teams loss to suggest that team members didnt play good
Revised 1: Neither Rasheed nor larry want their team's loss to suggest that team members didn't play well. Original 2: mr. Kato explained that because the rule does not effect the entire school but only individual students as a result of that rule the student handbook was checked
Revised 2: Mr. Kato explained that because the rule does not effect the entire school bu individual students, the student handbook was checked.
DOL #45
Original 1: it says here on the bottle label that the baddest reaction to this here medicine would be drowsiness so your alright
Revised 1: It says on the bottle label that the worst reaction to this medicine would be drowsiness, so you're all right.
Original 2: at the beginning of class ms.kenney took attendance assigns new work and homework was checked
Revised 2: At the beginning of class Ms. Kenney takes attendance, assigns new work, and checks homework.
DOL #25
Original 1: the titanic carried more then 1,500 people to there graves it was believed to by unsinkable
Revised 1: The Titanic, believed to be unsinkable, carried more than 1,500 people to their graves.
Original 2: the student teacher arrives next week it is necessary that we finishes reading eliots long poem the waste land
Revised 2: Because the student teacher arrives next week, it is necessary that we finish reading Eliot's long poem The Waste Land.
DOL #26
Original 1: a renowned magazine many well known writers submit articles and stories to the atlantic monthly
Revised 1:Many well known writers submit articles and stories to the Atlantic Monthly, a renowned magazine.
Original 2: i am very eager to read the french novel the plague carmen said but its not in our library
Revised 2: "I am very eager to read the French novel The Plague," Carmen said, "But it's not in our library."
DOL #27
Original 1: everyone in this grade are responsible for this years dance therefore we all must raise funds for the decorations
Revised 1: Everyone in this grade is responsible for this year's dance; therefore, we all must raise funds for the decorations.
Original 2: having worked for 8 hours i need to set down listen to music and the enjoyment of a good dinner
Revised 2: Having worked for eight hours, I need to sit down, listen to music, and enjoy a good dinner.
DOL #28
Original 1: i remember when my neighbor he set up a huge telescope the larger i had ever seen to observe halleys comet
Revised 1: I remember when my neighbor set up a huge telescope - the largest I have ever seen - to observe Halley's Comet.
Original 2: ms masayo asked do you feel alright now walter or dont you want to go skiing
Revised 2: Ms. Masayo asked, "Do you feel all right now Walter? Can you go skiing?"
DOL #29
N/A
DOL #30
N/A
DOL #31
N/A
DOL #32
N/A
DOL #33
Original 1: when are these books due hans should i bringn them to the library
Revised 1: When are these books due, Hans? Should I bring them to the library?
Original 2: after the constitutional convention of 1787 drafted the constitution of the united states almost 3 years passed before it was ratified
Revised 2: After the Constitutional Convention of 1787 drafted the Constituion of the United States, almost three years passed before it was ratified.
DOL #34
Original 1: much depends on weather your effected by the high altitude when you climbed the mountain
Revised 1: Much depends on whether you are affected by the high altitude when you climb the mountain.
Original 2: while half the class uses the Internet the rest will study the smithsonian magazines that re different than the ones we used earlier
Revised 2: While half the class uses the Internet, the test will study the Smithsonian Magazines that are different from the ones we used earlier.
DOL #35
Original 1: oh we havent got finished with our group book report the reason is because everyone dont have a copy of marie's draft
Revised 1: Oh, we haven't finished our group book report because no one had a copy of Marie's draft.
Original 2: since my Mom likes canoeing on the yellowstone river hikes in montana and camps in wyoming
Revised 2: My Mom likes canoeing on the Yellowstone River, hiking in Montana, and camping in Wyoming.
DOL #36
Original 1: there are some athletes who rarely play but continue to practice mrs ahmed the new principal stated
Revised 1: "There are some athletes who rarely play but continue to practice, "Mrs. Ahmed, the new principal, stated.
Original 2: the world series although often exciting sometimes is to slow paced for me and my mom we think
Revised 2: The World Series, although often exciting, sometimes is too slow paced for me and my mom.
DOL #37
Original:
ms paula jeffers
campton paper company
18376 river drive
minneaplois mn
dear ms jeffers
Revised:
Ms. Paula Jeffers
Campton Paper Company
18376 River Drive
Minneaplois, MN
Dear Ms. Jeffers,
DOL #38
Original 1: because the united states constitution sits out certain individual writes that we is all privileged to enjoy
Revised 1: The United States Constitution sets out certain individual rights that we are all privileged to enjoy.
Original 2: we havent neither the time or the ability to practice the play the reason being we lost so many actors to the flew
Revised 2: We have neither the time nor the ability to practice the play because so many actors caught the flu.
DOL #39
Original 1: to be allowed to to to the party i had to finish my science project cleaning my room and helping my Mom fix dinner
Revised 1: To be allowed to go to the party, I had to finish my science project, clean my room, and help mom fix dinner.
Original 2: mr corazzini who cant never start his car was taken by bus too dulles airport on tuesday october 29
Revised 2: Mr. Corazzini, who can never start his car, took the bus to Dulles Airport on Tuesday, October 29.
DOL #40
Original 1: luisa bought a antique pitcher for her cousin who is in atlanta which had came from mexico
Revised 1: Luisa brought an antique pitcher in Mexico for her cousin from Atlanta.
Original 2: oscar please sit these books on the library table if you dont have alot of things to carry
Revised 2: Oscar, please set these books on the library table if you don't have a lot of things to carry.
DOL #41
Original 1: park rangers who works in large forests periodically set fire to marked lands to encourage new growth
Revised 1: Park rangers, who work in large forests, periodically set fire to marked lands to encourage new growth.
Original 2: after the discovery of penicillin very many miracle drugs appeared ironically though 40 years bacteria are becoming very much more resistant to drugs
Revised 2: After the discovery of penicillin, many miracle drugs appeared; ironically, forty years have passed, and bacteria are becoming more resistant to drugs.
DOL #42
Original 1: because of differences between the 8 camp counselors causing a change in the field trips destination
Revised 1: Differences between the eight camp counselors caused a change in the field trip's destination.
Original 2: first felicia planned the party secondly deciding on decorations theird she invited special guests
Revised 2: First, Felicia planned the party; second, decided on decorations; third, she invited special guests.
DOL #43
Original 1: do juan and davids ownership of this Sailboat entitle them two to membership in the winthrop beach yacht club
Revised 1: Do Juan and David's ownership of this sailboat entitle them to membership in the Winthrop beach Yacht Club?
Original 2: the article in search of spanish galleons in the book shipwrecks was writed by kiber and rotondi who believes it will be found
Revised 2: The article "In search of Spanish Galleons" in the book Shipwrecks was written by Kiber and Rotondi who believed it will be found.
DOL #44
Original 1: neither rasheed or larry dont want their teams loss to suggest that team members didnt play good
Revised 1: Neither Rasheed nor larry want their team's loss to suggest that team members didn't play well.
Original 2: mr. Kato explained that because the rule does not effect the entire school but only individual students as a result of that rule the student handbook was checked
Revised 2: Mr. Kato explained that because the rule does not effect the entire school bu individual students, the student handbook was checked.
DOL #45
Original 1: it says here on the bottle label that the baddest reaction to this here medicine would be drowsiness so your alright
Revised 1: It says on the bottle label that the worst reaction to this medicine would be drowsiness, so you're all right.
Original 2: at the beginning of class ms.kenney took attendance assigns new work and homework was checked
Revised 2: At the beginning of class Ms. Kenney takes attendance, assigns new work, and checks homework.